Hot Rods and Hills 2011


This is the 5th year of Craig Dixon’s Hot Rods and Hills run up in the beautiful setting of Pooley Bridge on the side of lake Ullswater in the awesome English Lake District. Even in kak weather the lakes are mind blowing and takes on a whole different look, with the water falls in full flow and the grass greener than a green thing that is green! This weekend was to give us all kinds of weather but mostly glorious sunshine which makes the mountain views and pass’s cast shadows and shades better than anything that Wordsworth could describe in verse, no wonder so many poets and literary types are attracted and absorbed by the English lake District.

We decided to make as much of a holiday of this weekend as we possibly could, by booking time off work from Thursday, well Wednesday evening to be precise, but we didn’t get away until the Thursday Morning as along with many other Ladies that seem to gravitate to the latest money spinning tour for Take That, Pudzz wife Sue went and swooned away as they crooned away on the wednesday night, so Thursday it would be… (I’ll stick to Rammstein and Oomph) hey but each to there own…..

Pudzz waits for us at the bottom of our lane ready for the off.

My Truck and Pudzz gorgeous 32 Sedan

So Thursday it was to be, we were all really looking forward to this do as it is so laid back with no back stabbing or trophy hunting prima donnas ;o) “sic” It’s just enjoying the Cars people and scenery. Its just a short jaunt for us 1hr and once set up we could sit back and just relax.

There were a few early arrivals some came straight from Billing some just making a week off it and some just plain wanted to be there right from the beginning of the run er just like us. We had a look round a few cars about and then we hit the cider or wine in the case of the girls and that was pretty much us set.

Truck Arrives up from the Midlands

Our Host Craig Dixon’s bitchin Roadster sits in the shade.

Brian (Totus) and his Wife Jackies cool A coupe drove down from Scotland to Billing then up to Ullswater

Another A from Scotland.

People just mingle

Cool Fleetside another Scottish machine.

“Gear Jammers” Mick (Bomber) Barton’s Pop sits nice and Rays Rods 33Plymouth owned by Marcus Trueman had ignition problems so got AA home saved on fuel though.

There is always a vast selection of all types of Rods, Customs, Street Machine etc at the Hot Rods and Hills. Here more of the Gear Jammers demonstrate that very fact. Find out more on their web site

Friday saw a few more cars arrive and by the evening looked pretty rammed. The camp site is massive and well kept on the shore of the lake Ullswater and attracts hundreds of people all the time but Craig had secured a massive section of the best field on site for the tenter’s while us posh folk took over most of the caravan pitches, mind you if you are real posh like Southerner’s there are some very impressive wooden lodges for you if that takes ya fancy… ;o)

Here we are in the posh end, with Pete Edwards 35 taking prime spot location, location, location ;o)

Over from Yorkshire and staying for a week

Thingy from Yorkshire’s 40 Ford.

We just mingled talked, abused and generally had a laugh all day and night with a slight break for food in Pooley bridge, which seemed to be full of Rodders with the odd smattering of Crag Rat (walkers). We stayed out in the warm evening until fairly late, the rebel that is Brian Crossland had security come round about 11.30pm as his music was disturbing the other campers. He is so wild we are thinking we may not be able to keep knocking around with him anymore as he is a very bad influence on us quiet Northern hicks!

Wild Brian Crossland and wife Jill arrive fresh from Appelby Horse Fair.

I think we had a couple of drinks in the club house if my memory serves me right, but I fear I was so traumatized at £4 a pint I have blocked it completely from my mind, in fact I am 100% certain that may of happened ;o).

We did a fairly sensible end to the night back at our caravan and crashed about 1.30am well into planet Strongbow, with my mrs well into ros`e country.. “hic” that was that as far as I can be arsed remembering… Terrrrr seeya Sat… for the cruise..

Oh Yeah just came into my head, we went into Penrith Friday morning so I could get some cheap LPG and get some supplies. That was the only time I can remember we had some precipitation, which gave the truck a wash at least.

Outside while sheltering at Morrison’s we witnessed some mobility rage. There was an old timer (you could tell he was once a big tough mutha hubbard) and this younger dude in a spas chariot just backs up without looking nearly running over the old guys tootsies “whoooo watch it ya friggin idiot” the old guy shouts ” ” I could seeya man I could seeya alright keep ya hair on”… “you bloody idiot you nearly ran into me” ” No I never man I saw you” ” you fucking dick head you never” ” Hey what’s up with ya Man… I was no where near you” ” look fuck off dick head you did” … Made me smile and I am sure if the young guy ( in his 40’s) wasn’t sat in the mobility scooter he would of got twated… The big guy walked off still pointing finger and swearing at him. Made my day!

On the way back from town we followed a trail of trans fluid for miles I have a feeling (not definite) that the trail ended right here ;o)..

Saturday – Lakes be having ya! Help them Heroes!!!!!

After a full Belly Buster Breakfast, I gave the old Truck a wash and polish with this magic gear called showroom shine. Spray on, wipe off, a quick buff all done all in a few minutes. Hey suits you sir.. as I cant be arsed with all that cleaning, polishing malarkey, it was made for me. Now Pudzz loves a good polish as it happens and could even be called a polishing connoisseur, I let him use it and he was very impressed, so it has our approval (no connection with the company by the way) but if they read this and want to send me some free samples, I will be more than happy at £29.99 a bottle, well to honest I got it in there 2 for 1 promotion.. but still free would be nice…. end of advertisement. ;o)

Well it was to be an early start as our Run was to compliment a Bike Ride out in aid of Help the Heroes. The bikers were to start off from Cockermouth (wonder how the town ever got that name???) making their way to Bowness where we were going. There was some last minute panic a few week back when Craig asked about us using the Glebe at Bowness this year. He was told sorry you cant use it as there will be a few hundred Bikers there this year… Panic Panic!!! but luckily one of the Rodders (I forget who) found out who was organizing the bike ride out and told them the script with us and it was all open arms and to be a joint (whoo don’t mind is I do ta) …. effort.

We had to be there by 12pm so we didn’t tangle up with the Bikers arriving. So we got away by 10.45am.. well fukin done everyone. Click for short Video

It was a magnificent run over Kirkstone Pass, the only casualties where some bikers who were to busy goggling the Rods coming in the opposite direction, to notice a car in front stop to turn right into a lay bye…. crash, bang, wallop, one whacks into the back of the car, while others try and avoid the crashing bike, one goes down sliding as the others just pile in like a motorized school pile on!! One unconfirmed report said a lass on a modern scooter “spit”… ended up going over the wall, olympic style!! Note to oneself ” always be aware of your surroundings even if a naked nubile is walking in the opposite direction, just dont look” “yeah right… so fuk em, lets keep going to the glebe an appointment is an appointment eh! actually nobody was hurt just pride.. lots of it, or I would of stopped honest, I am just using writers licence. Here is the video of the Run out + Crash righ at the end

So as we passed through the very touristy part of the Lakes “Bowness” the holiday makers were treated to an impromptu moving car show. With cameras and video’s snapping and whirring away with reckless abandon.

It was to be once round the Glebe and then park on the grass to give everyone a nice static display of our cars, while we mingled again and explored Bowness, personally it is my least favorite part of the beautiful and awe inspiring lake district, it is purely for the tourist, with chip and ice cream bars everywhere and you would swear you were in either Japan or Saudi arabia by the look of the people walking round!!! Japs every where with very large expensive camera’s, looking at us like we are dirt they have just trod in. Well me with my 2 Staffie’s anyway ;o)…. probably wonder why I am walking round with my dinner on a lead. A couple even asked us to move out of the way of their photos… what the fuk!

Odgie gets ready to serve some cure all elixir of life from the back of Miss P Jalopy.

Anyhow the Bikers arrived about 250 of them, we numbered around 60 I think, so quite a show. We gave a donation to Help them brave lads and lassies fighting the politicians war out in Afghanistan.

We had a little walk round, got a mandatory ice cream and just enjoyed the sunshine and the spectacle, all the time bursting to get back out on the road again, after all that is what this run is all about.

We stayed until 2pm and then a few of us decided lets hit the road. We followed a different route back, heading toward Keswick which is even more scenic than Kirkstone pass if that was possible.

Once back at site it was fire up the barby (Cadac posh barby) crack open a can and just enjoy the rest of the day, before the nights mayhem begins.

The band were the very entertaining Cats who just do the most amazing set, with mixtures of Rock modern and Rock a Billy sometimes all at once and just rocked the house beginning to end. I have seen them at Biker do’s and they let their hair down even more at them.. Gotta be seen and heard, when they do their Glam Rock set at Biker do’s they put on all the gear. I remember at one Harley Rally they were all Glammed up doing their set and one of the pissed up Bikers fell in love with the lead singer, convinced he was a very gorgeous female with what he described as a perfect arse…. Ha ha … I’ll take your word for it dude. Was he embarrassed in the morning or what!

Well it was a fantastic night, with some jolly cavorting going on all over the place. Nobody ended up fighting this year ( no Mini driving dick heads) … oh wait one of the bar staff nearly got twatted. We were all waiting patiently in a queue, when this ignorant twat just walks up to the center of the bar and one of the bar staff totally ignores us polite types patiently queuing at the side and proceeds to serve this ignorant twat.. I shouted ” Hey we are first, we have been waiting here in a queue” the lad serving behind the bar shouts back at me ” Well I am serving him ok”” Fuck off is it Fuuckkk ok” I was stammering with anger ” Ya ignorant twat, there’s a fucking queue here” A young lass serving came to me right away “it’s Ok I will serve you now” she said so sweetly and innocent trying to keep me calm.. but I was off on one and all but dragged the cheeky bar lad over the counter… I was blazing for quite some time, but would he eye contact me would he Hell… I managed to keep clam away from the bar, but every time I went for a drink and that was plenty of times, I wanted his blood….. *Silly old twat that I am*

So apart from that is was a bazzin night and its shame when it was over, great band, great company and some bar staff were nice… wow just remembered I nearly got twatted aswell numpty I am, at the bar were two hard looking dudes with Tattoos all over their heads, necks and faces etc… I looked at one and said “Fuckin hell mate I bet your hard”….. yes I was being a dick head… luckily.. I don’t think it twigged to him what I just said.. so he just turned away and ignored me *Phew*…

Well that was that a great day coming to an end, just a couple of drinks back at camp and it was time for the sandman.. as we snoozed our way to Sunday.

Sunday another Run Day!

As is done each year, the Hot Rods and Hills has a run out to Hartside, which is a famous Biker haunt set up on the top of Alston summit. The Cafe there is run like a military machine and the food is excellent. The drive up is not for the faint hearted and tests man and machine as it twists and climbs it’s way up to the top.

Cool 35

Richard Parker graced us with his presence and more importantly his stunning 39 Ford “Yum Yum”

My Mate Pudzz rolls a Fag (gave up for 15yr but stress has made him return to the demon weed) as he peruses Craig’s 32.

Impressive pinstriping skill of Chris Bunting check out his web site Click Here

For me and I guess everyone else who does the Hot Rods and Hills do, this far out classes any show and shine Trophy hunt as is the norm for almost all other Rod Runs. I forgot to mention also that Craig who organizes this great Lakeland Run, had put together a fantastic folder for every participant. It gave lots of useful information about the run and the surrounding area with a quiz and treasure hunt also enclosed for those who fancied it.. well done that man!

So it was a fairly early rise for us, get breaky on, down camp and then do the drive out.

I forgot to mention also that when Andy “Fadster” arrived it was in a massive removal size wagon with the t inside and caravan in tow. A normal camper arrived and spouted.. “How long are you here for?”…. to which Andy replied “Sunday Mate”…. The guy was not impressed and stormed off to reception to complain. “How do expect me to put my caravan next to that bloody monstrosity” ” I cant see anything other than this sodding great Wagon”….. ” and nobody told me there would be a load of noisy cars here”…. “we did say it was a Hot Rod weekend sir”

I guess he thought Hot Rodding meant something totally different ;o).. to cut a long story short, he up’t sticks and went somewhere else with his Caravan… whaaa whaaa

When we had all the caravan gear stashed the last job was empty the caravan toilets. Me and Pudzz went up to the elsan point in my Truck, and after we had done the task, I was putting the cassette toilet back in the pickup bed… and this young lass around 18-20yrs looked me up and down, then the truck front to back and up and down… then gave me the most disgusted look with her nose screwed up and mouth turned down like we were the shit we had just emptied. Ha Ha that did make me smile, you could tell she was thinking who the fuk do you think you are !!

When we arrived at the field ready for the drive out, there were quite a few loaded up and going home and a good amount thankfully who weren’t. There were even a few spectators who had come up just to see the cars drive off it was quite electric.

Craig got his 32 Roadster out even he was doing this run, so it was he and Andy who lead the cruise out.. You could hear the tyre squeal and the engines roar as they both hammered it out of the camp and it would be a few miles before I clapped eyes on them again they were going for it big time!

Getting ready for the off.

Real cool iron bridge that marks the climb up to Hartside.

It was quite and impressive sight as I looked back at the various Rods and Customs winding their way up the Mountain road.

There were a few bikers at the Cafe and they got quite and eye opener as the wild cars rolled in one after another. Some tried not to look to impressed and the biggest crowd and most photos taken where of the Prowler that came with us ;o)…. I guess most didn’t know what they were looking at.

We got some grub and a drink, but it was windy and cold up there and the girls wanted to Vamoose… So that was pretty much it, a fantastic weekend, a fantastic venue and the most excellent time was had by all.

Make it a must do next year all as this is one of the best drive your car runs in the UK with no bullshit snobbery or clique’s..


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